My first exposure to the use of “trigger warning” came about as a teacher. As part of our training, we were briefed on them, so it wasn’t a complete surprise that our students knew about them too.

I was teaching ESL in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. One of my students, about 13 years old, attended an international school where they’d just had an assembly on triggers and trigger warnings. From that point on, whenever I mentioned grammar or homework, she’d shout “Trigger!”

This did not get her out of doing her class work or homework, and eventually she stopped.

There was a discussion on the Alliance of Independent Authors facebook group about trigger warnings. Apparently there’s a serious discussion around embracing the inclusion of trigger warnings on books.

I understand that some things in stories can trigger strong emotional reactions. Story-telling is about evoking emotions, sometimes a writer pushes too far. But the list being discussed, available here, is just absurd.

According to it, you should use a trigger warning if you mention a brand by name, if anyone is pregnant in the story, if there are any references to Harry Potter, spiders, or alcohol…

There are valid things on the list, such as rape, decapitation, torture, but they’re invalidated by the absurdity of the rest of the list.

Simply getting your feelings hurt because a story has “slut shaming” isn’t being triggered, it’s being uncomfortable.

All of this led me to think, how would the books of my childhood stack up to this list?

Let’s find out:

I’ll start with one of the most influential books in science fiction, Dune:

So Dune (The first book) needs 32 trigger warnings. Did you enjoy watching the movie last year? Shame on you.

Surely Lord of the Rings isn’t so crass?

The Lord of the Rings needs 33 trigger warnings. I guess you’d better never read that book again.

A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) probably needs all of them. Let’s check anyway.

A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) scores 65 hits on the list, not quite the full list, but close.

Just for fun, let’s try Romeo and Juliet!

Congratulations, Will, your play only needs 18 trigger warnings. Woohoo.