One of the interesting weeks we had in my writing course was where we had to deconstruct then rebuild a famous story, in this case, Frankenstein.
We needed to develop a three-act outline for a retelling of Frankenstein in another genre or time. This lesson included needing to submit three separate pieces: the three-act structure outline; a character sketch of the protagonist; and the scene that would close out the second act.
I decided early on that my version would have Elizabeth Lavenza (Victor von Frankenstein’s fiancé in the original) as the hero, and that the story would be set in the present and involve nanotechnology.
Here, for your reading pleasure, is my three parts – three-act outline, ‘hero’ sketch and the turning point of Act 2
Three-Act Outline
Act 1
Beth Lavenza is a noted nanotechnologist. Her experiments are on the verge of giving humans immortality through an ever-renewed physical body. There are many who object to her work, including fanatics who attack her while she is walking her dog, Bear. Beth survives, but Bear is near death. A heartbroken Beth injects her experimental nanobots into Bear in an attempt to save him.
Act 2
Bear recovers. Beth garners press attention for how she saved Bear, and takes Bear onto a talk show hosted by the very cute and single Victor von Stein. Beth and Victor start dating. Bear starts exhibiting some creepy, stalkerish behaviour towards Beth. Victor suggest she night need to get rid of Bear. One night, Beth wakes to voices in her bedroom. She fears that the fanatics have come back to try to kill her again. Instead, she finds Victor and Bear in an argument. Yes, Bear can speak: The nanobots were geared towards replicating human DNA and Bear is evolving.
Act 3
Bear wants Beth for his own, so he kills Victor. Bear then bites Beth, saying, “You’ll understand. It won’t take long.” Beth falls ill with a high fever and sleeps for days. When she wakes up, she realizes that she now has the nanobots in her, along with some of Bear’s DNA. They are now psychically linked – not just Beth and Bear, but all the nanobots too. The nanobots are going to remake Beth into a mate for Bear, so that the nanobots can propagate further, eventually replacing humanity. Bear and Beth will be the new Adam and Eve.
Hero Profile
Beth Lavenza is a brilliant scientist. She spends her days and nights deeply immersed in her field of study, medical nanotechnology. She’s very close earning to a tenured position at MIT. She expects her doctoral thesis will nail it.
Beth does have a life outside of work. She likes to kayak alone along the Charles River, dodging the swans. She helps at the local foodbank around the holidays. Beth has a purebred chow, named Bear, who is her surrogate child and snuggle buddy.
It’s not that she doesn’t date, it’s just that guys who understand her research are even more socially inept than her, and all other guys she’s ever met are just too materialistic or hedonistic to waste time on. Occasionally she’ll indulge in a one night fling, but not often, because the guilt afterwards always outweighs the benefits. Her lab assistants jokingly refer to Bear as her husband.
Act 2 Turning Point
In every way, Victor’s place was better: The view was better, the restaurants were better, there was more than one room… But of course Bear wasn’t welcome. Once had been enough. Beth had offered to pay for the damage, but if she could afford to replace his wardrobe, she could afford better than the lower-end IKEA furniture that populated her studio.
Still, he was coming to stay in her cramped studio instead. Victor never complained about her place, the creaky pipes, the lack of air conditioning, which was sweet of him, but also annoying. She felt judgemental on his behalf, coming to dislike her cosy little hidey-hole. It got damp with two people, and had developed a slightly mouldy stench, a dog-ish odour she hadn’t previously noticed.
She smiled at Bear, rubbed his head as she grabbed a stack of journals off the bed, set them beside the kitchen sink, stored her laptop in the cutlery drawer.
Bear was always a problem they pushed to another day. But as their relationship deepened, Bear’s fate permeated her sleep. In her dreams, Bear could talk. He always said, ‘I love you.’ And he often told her about a future of just the two of them, no Victor. After these dreams, she’d invariably find Bear curled against her, snoring.
When Victor arrived, he leaned in to kiss Beth, but she grabbed a damp towel and scrubbed her lips first. “Bear was licking me.”
“On your mouth? Eww, I have to kiss that mouth.”
“You don’t have to…” But he did.
That night, Beth locked Bear into the bathroom for some uninterrupted couple time with Victor. When she let him out, Bear hopped onto the bed, curled up on Victor’s side, giving a soft growl.
“He doesn’t sleep with you, does he?” Victor watched Bear’s eyes. He’d noticed that Bear seemed much more attentive to their conversations lately.
“Jealous much?”
“Quarantine protocols?” Victor asked. “He has your nanobots in his blood.”
“Yeah,” Beth waved off any concern. “He’s safe.”
Later, Beth’s sleep was interrupted by dreams of Bear talking to her. But this time there was more than one voice. As she neared wakefulness, she felt a memory, three blurry strangers grabbing her, pulling her, taking control.
“No!” She sat bolt upright, shook off the cobwebs, and found both Bear and Victor watching her, an interrupted tension obvious between them.
“What’s going on?”
“He talks. Your damn dog talks!”
“No he doesn’t. He doesn’t have the right vocal cords.” Beth stopped as Bear made a noise. “What did he just say?”
“I heard ‘ruv ru.”
“I very clearly heard ‘I love you.’” Beth touched her ear. “I don’t think I heard it, so much as understood?”
“The nanobots. You’ve got his nanobots in you. Now you’re linked somehow.” Victor looked around widely. Could he get to the frying pan hanging on the wall by the kitchenette? Could he possibly swing it hard enough to kill Bear? “And he’s learning to talk.”
Victor took a step towards the kitchenette. Bear growled long and low.
“He says, ‘Don’t move.’”
“Yeah, I got that.”
If you enjoyed this story, you might enjoy my short story collection The Maiden Voyage of Novyy Mir and Other Short Stories.
