Hail to the Chiefs

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“Sir,” An agent interrupted my dinner, “President Jones is dead. I’m sorry sir, you’re president now.” The Secret Service doesn’t so much protect presidents these days, as ensure they don’t run away.

The AI, desiring peace, keeps assassinating successive presidents because they have the power to declare war. Lexington, bless his heart, tried to change that constitutional clause, but congress refused to ratify the amendments, the cowards.

The AI’s been creative lately: A snowplow killed Kringle, Lexington was trampled by horses, Jones suffocated in a submerged locker.

God help me but I can already imagine my demise, I’m named Quarters.

 

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Author’s Note: I had a thought about a president wanting to run away but not being able to evade the Secret Service. Then it just became a question of why that scenario would occur.