Character Intro: Char Osbaldistan

I doubt it’s a surprise that I’m working on a book. I’m actually working on a lot of them – a duology, a stand-alone novel, a novella and a five-novella sequence. Oh, and a few short stories, too.

The five-book sequence follows the crew of a ship as they get into a series of escalating adventures. I’d like to introduce one member of the crew here. Her name is Char Osbaldistan, and when we meet her here (in a flashback), she’s a smuggler, freshly captured by the Interplanetary Union (IU). But when we actually meet her in-universe, she’s a full-fledged member of an IU crew.

Char was first mentioned (but not seen) in the short story Dee, For the Win which you can read here.

Let’s meet Char Osbaldistan:

It was an office, why an office, Char didn’t know. Usually court rooms looked more like, well, court rooms and not office. Yet there he was the tired old magistrate sitting behind a pompous desk, flanked by an inquisitor. The room was plush, velvet and wood against gold highlights. It spoke of power and authority, order and rigidity. The inquisitor spoke first.

“How many identities do you have? Your ship … what’s it’s name?”

“Why do you ask?” Char chafed against her bindings. There was a very comfortable chair in front of her, but sitting in like this would be awkward.

“Your ship, for one, appears to have four different registrations.” Char bit back a smile – there were seven, but they’d only found four. That was good.

“For the record, what is your ship’s name?”

“What do you want it to be?”

“Don’t play with me, girl.” The judge’s contempt spoke of impatience. So, time to go slow.

“Woman. Twenty-seven. Clearly, I’m a woman.”

“I have grandchildren your age, child.” The judge dismissed her response with a wave of his hand.

“Still, woman.”

“You, yourself,” The inquisitor ignored the exchange, “appear to have five different identities, all of whom,” He spoke in an aside to the judge, “pay taxes, by the way.”

“Seriously?” Char always left the money laundering part of the operations to the experts. All she knew was that she got paid her share, and it was a nice share.

“Yes, it’s an efficient way to look legitimate – pay taxes on income earned from fictitious jobs to cover that it was actually earned illicitly.” As if he needed to explain it to her. No, he was stating it for the record. This was being recorded, surreptitiously.

“I pay my taxes. Still, you arrest me?”

“You pay taxes for five people, at least four of whom are fake. Before we finish, you will tell us exactly how and from whom you got those identities.”

She chuckled. “Probably not.”

“What’s with her ship?” The judge asked.

“It’s a little planetary system slug modified with a hyper drive.” The inquisitor read from a note screen. “Slugs are everywhere, working boats that might move cargo pods, align construction segments, move a hulk around. They often hitch rides with cargo carries from one system to the next. It’s so common, and so universal, that a new one in a star system would never raise suspicions. It’s the perfect smuggling vehicle.” He turned back to Char.

“From your vessel’s logs, we’ve learned that you’ve worked in the Hadriatik Republic, the Triple Alliance, the Non-aligned territories and around Melakka. The ship’s history appears to suggest that it originated in Melakka, which would tie you to the identification of Char Osbaldistan.” The inquisitor nodded toward the judge. “Thus we have determined that for the purposes of this hearing, you will be identified as such. Miss Osbaldistan, do you object?”

“Of course.”

“Then what name would you prefer?”

“No, any name will do. I object to being captured. I object to being tried. I object to my ship being confiscated. I object to it being the bloody useless Interplanetary Union that arrested me and not some respectable government. This isn’t a real judiciary, you have no authority. This is a kangaroo court.”

“Char Osbaldistan, you’re charged with illegal operation of a vehicle, four counts of impersonation, smuggling, piracy and theft. You will learn to respect this court’s authority and you will do so quickly.”

“Oh, please.”

“What?”

“You want me, you want people in general, to respect your authority? You don’t know the difference between smuggling and piracy.”

“Both act outside of the law.”

“So does speeding. You don’t equate it to piracy … bloody kangaroo court, full of amateurs.”

— 30 —

Books You Hate

stacked books

Have you ever been so disgusted with a book — the story, the editing, the whatever — that you’ve felt the desire to chuck the book against a wall? I have. As a reader, I’m annoyed, dissatisfied. As a writer, it’s an interesting lesson on what can go wrong, and pulls on the fear that maybe I won’t see the problem.

I’ll give you examples, but I’m not going to name names. In both cases, the book was traditionally published, and the author is a respected writer in their genre. Continue reading “Books You Hate”

Walking away from a sale

typewriter

The hardest thing for a new writer to do is to walk away from a sale. I should know, I just did it.

I sent a short story to an anthology. They accepted it. The money offered is not much, but then again, I’m not a ‘name’ writer (yet!). The exposure, or at least having another publication to list, was worth the money.

Then the contract arrived. Continue reading “Walking away from a sale”

Spice World – the seminal Dune story

Dune trilogy covers

Everyone knows Dune (you do, don’t you? If not, why are you here?), and if you’ve even given this blog a cursory glance, you know that lately I’ve been obsessing about Dune more than a little.

I happened to chance onto a book called The Road to Dune in a local second-hand book store (I live in Malaysia. English is not the first language here, so it was a find). Within this book, along with deleted or early draft scenes from Dune and Dune Messiah, was a novella called Spice World. Continue reading “Spice World – the seminal Dune story”

Writers I’ve Known and Their Books

William Kamkwamba is probably the best selling author I?ve known. He was a student at African Leadership Academy back when I was the Communications Manager. He made my live very interesting. His memoir, The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind became a big hit in 2009, leading him to make appearances on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Good Morning America, appearances with Mitch Albom and Tavis Smiley, and many other news programs. Since he was a student at our school, I managed his time vis-a-vis his publicity and his school work, acting as the gatekeeper, often having to refuse requests (sorry, Sky News. One day you?ll forgive me like CNN did.). I don?t know that I learned a lot about the publishing industry from this experience, but I certainly saw the hustle that an author goes through to promote a book, especially a bestseller.

Back in the 1990s, I was the editor of a small weekly entertainment paper called ?Spotlight Magazine.? One of our writers, Michelle McColm, was documenting the process that she went through as an adoptee reuniting with her birth parents. The book is still available on Amazon although I think it?s out of print. Through Michelle, i got to see the author?s journey, specifically the edits and galleys that the publisher sent late in the process for final sign-off. It was invigorating to actually hold those.

More recently I?ve been hanging out (or more often, lurking) in an online community run by Janet Reid, a literary agent. Among the readers of her blog (or ?Reiders?) are a number published or self-published authors.

The community has recently been very excited because long-time contributor Donna Everhart?s first novel, The Education of Dixie Dupree has just been released. It?s been picked by Amazon as a book of the month, and other reviewers are giving it rave reviews. Donna recently recapped much of her journey on her site.

This isn?t the site?s only published writer. A month earlier, Heidi Wessman Kneale published The White Feather. W.R. Gingell seems prolific. Her book Masque has one of the best covers I?ve seen in a self-published book. Another writer, Anne Belov, writes stories about pandas, and has a few books out. Susan Pogorzelski recently published her second book, The Last Letter, about living wiht Lyme disease.

As much as writing happens alone, writers build communities, share experiences and listen to each others? challenges.

What Can Scalzi’s First Novel Teach New Authors?

Whether you love him or hate him, John Scalzi is incredibly influential and is probably the highest-paid science fiction writer today. in 2015, Scalzi signed a ten-year, 13 book, $3.4 million deal with Tor publishing.

Me? I?m an unpublished writer. At this point in my career, I like to refer to myself as a semi-pro writer. I?ve sold a few small stories, but nothing big enough to a SFWA qualifying market, so I?m not in the pro leagues, and even beyond that, am certainly far from making a living from my writing.

Part of my learning process is to deconstruct successful novels to see what I can learn from them. It makes sense to look at John Scalzi?s first book, Old Man?s War.

The plot is pretty simple: Man joins army, goes through basic training, fights a few battles and gets promoted. There are some twists on this premise: the man is 75 years old when he enlists; his essence is transferred into a younger, modified clone of himself; and along the way he meets a clone of his dead wife. They kind of fall in love.

Now, as a writer trying to learn the craft, I?ve found that there are ?universal rules? to story writing, but I had a hard time applying them to this story. Everyone agrees that a story needs an ?inciting incident,? an event that propels the story and character forward, and that incident must happen early in the story. While revising my current work in progress (or WiP), I?ve been trimming chapters form the front of the story because that incident occurred in chapter 7 – far too late.

But what?s the inciting incident in Old Man?s War? Joining the army? That?s hardly compelling. The protagonist?s wife?s death? That happened two year before the book opens. According to ?Narrative First? an inciting incident is the event or decision that begins a story’s problem.

But Old Man?s War doesn?t actually have a problem. Not here anyway. Later, there?s the kill-or-be-killed of combat, but that?s much later.

That same website says that ?Stories are about solving problems,? but again, Old Man?s War isn?t. There is a need for soldiers to fight a war, but it?s a war that doesn?t impact Earth, where the recruits are from. It only impacts the colonies, which are secretive, exclusionary, and treat Earth with some contempt. It?s NOT the protagonist?s war!

Again, Narrative First claims that stories are about ?The two central objective characters, Protagonist and Antagonist, battle it out until approximately one-quarter of a way into a story? But Old Man?s War has no Antagonist. It has a series of aliens that offer some not insurmountable threat to humanity, but never gravely. And each case, we are introduced to them as they engage in combat – there is no real overarching threat.

Story Mastery, in their article 10 simple keys to effective storytelling, claims that the second of the 10 points of story telling is:

2. IT?S ALL ABOUT THE GOAL
The events and turning points in your story must all grow out of your hero?s desire. Without an outer motivation for your protagonist ? a clear, visible objective your hero is desperate to achieve ? your story can?t move forward.? But in this story, the hero doesn?t really have a goal. Not at first. He?s just old, bored and ready for a change.

That same site claims this as it?s 7th point: ?Whatever outer motivation drives your hero, she shouldn?t begin pursuing that goal immediately. She must get acclimated to her new situation, must figure out what?s going on or where she fits in, until what has been a fairly broad or undefined desire comes into focus.? This actually defines the first two thirds of old Man?s War. The first part (called Part I) is before bootcamp. Part II is bootcamp. Part III is combat, but not a lot of it. There is a grand battle of sorts, and there are some high stakes (steal a piece of equipment from an enemy). But it seems too easy to have any real tension.

So what can I, an aspiring novelist in the same genre, learn from this first book by the current Stephen King of said genre?

That?s hard to say. I liked the story, but I felt that the book was a bit flat in the telling. It broke a lot of the rules of storytelling without offering a spectacular payoff for that transgression. Scalzi can write character amazingly well, something that I strive for, and so reading him definitely has that as a positive (I knew that already. I loved Red Shirts) but in this case, I didn?t think he told a great story. Yet, it got published, became famous and launched his career. It left me wondering what the publisher saw in the story that I didn?t.

I wondered if I was alone in my feelings. I found a bunch of reviews on GoodReads that echoed my thoughts. I thought this one said it particularly well. So what did I miss? WHat didn’t I learn from this story that I should have? Because now I’m questioning removing thre chapters from my WiP to get to an inciting incident quicker at the expense of my characters.