Since the most common-sense idea — “no guns” — won’t work in America, here?s a simple idea, and not even my own, although I?m going to build upon it: Pre-emptively removing fame from the equation. Let?s ensure that people who commit atrocious acts will be belittled by society. Let?s agree that they will be publicly shamed and then forgotten. Yes, I know this is childish, but it’s the mindset we’re dealing with, and we need to speak to their level.

There?s been a lot of talk lately, starting with the shootings at that church in the US South about the role that fame or notoriety plays in encouraging such attacks. Some news anchors have suggested not naming shooters, as have some of the communities affected. Others have defended the practice. My idea is simple, just like with hurricanes, we publish a series of names – but annoying, ugly names – and make the public aware that these are what the next rampage shooters will be called.

Remember when the idiot who attacked a movie theatre was arrested? People started calling him Sideshow Bob because of his resemblance to that fictional character. The idiot got furious, demanding that people refer to him by his own name. What was the point of committing such a vile act, he all but shouted, if he wasn?t going to be notorious for it?

And that?s the rub – let?s take the notoriety out of it. We won?t remember you by your name, we?ll remember you as ?Moist Fart? or ?Used Tampon? or ?Fungal Growth?. What macho-craving, chest thumping douchebag of a mass murderer would want to go down in history as ?used tampon?? Even terms such as ?weakling? or ?sissy? could be applied, although I?d rather use stronger imagery for names.

Thoughts? Or suggestions for a list that we could build?